Why do people tend to not listen to the advice of an INFJ?

Because it’s difficult to follow the logic.

Most people make decisions by following a logical path. First they need to do A which will result in B which could lead to C etc. etc.

But INFJ’s don’t see straight paths. They can go from A to B and then take an intuitive leap and land in G. They can’t really explain their intuition either because the thought process is purely subconscious, they are merely piecing together a thousand red flags that they noticed without realizing it in order to arrive at that decision.

So to the ordinary individual what the INFJ is suggesting may seem outlandish, a little extreme, the logic doesn’t really make sense, they have no idea how we arrived at that conclusion. People do not like decisions that are based on intuition and ambiguity, they need something more concrete.

Sadly our intuition almost always tends to be right. Hopefully that’s enough evidence for them to trust our advice the next time.

As an INFJ….

As an INFJ…

I can read people’s energies immediately upon meeting them or engaging with them. I pick up on their vibes, and kind of almost “read their aura” without challenge.

I have a hyperactive brain, and I have great trouble with slowing it down or “turning it off.” As a result, I worry far too much!

I am very interested in human emotion and human psychology. I thoroughly enjoy figuring people out, and helping them to figure them selves out. As much as I dislike people and work hard to avoid them, I also enjoy engaging with them in order to study them, all the same.

I care very deeply for those who are closest to me. I embrace quality over quantity in my social relationships, and I cherish strong emotional connections.

I quickly become bored with and/or irritated by meaningless chit-chat and “tabloid talk.” I do not care to socialize unless I’m either able to engage in friendly debate about social or political topics, or am able to engage in deep meaningful conversation about intellectually or creatively-stimulating topics.

I tend to think that everything is about me, but ONLY when “everything” is negative. I hate being in the spotlight, but I will drag myself into it when i feel as though someone else’s misfortune might somehow be my fault. Usually the issue in question has nothing to do with me, and I end up worrying for no reason (story of my life).

I enjoy playing “counselor” or “therapist” for others. I am very good at examining and solving other people’s problems, while I constantly neglect to examine and solve my own!

I have a STRONG need for creativity. I need to express myself through art in various forms. When I deprive myself of artistic expression I retreat, become depressed, and ultimately shame and berate myself. Verbal communication has always been much more of a task for me than artistic communication has been.

I become easily frustrated when I attempt to do something without success on the first or second try. I am highly perfectionist at the core, and I feel as though I should be able to master whatever I attempt. -no room for error-

I become obsessed with things out of nowhere, and spend much of my time researching my topic of interest. However, I soon get bored and move on to another topic just as quickly as the one before, about which I also obsess..

I always assume that others are judging or questioning me. I am very self-conscious, especially when it comes to decision-making. I always feel like I’m misunderstood and judged by a large majority of people about how I choose to live and interact.

Loud noises bother and overwhelm me, as do large crowds of obnoxious [drunk] people. My energy drains so quickly around any kind of volume of people or of sound. I need peace and quiet in order to be productive or to enjoy myself.

I am able to adapt to, and find common ground with, all different kinds of people – no matter age, race, gender, sexual orientation, political or religious views, etc. I love relating to and finding common ground with others, especially those who seem quite different from me.

I have always preferred the company of those who are significantly older than I. This was quite the case from a very early age, and has yet to change in adulthood.

Personality and emotional connection have ALWAYS been the roots of my attraction to the opposite sex, rather than physical appearance and/or financial status.

I would much rather receive a note, poem, or drawing from a loved one rather than a material/store-bought gift with a high price tag.

I am attracted to modesty and a humanitarian nature. I am attracted to selflessness, artistic ability, an open mind, and a tendency to forgive and lack judgment.

I am always seeking approval from my loved ones and, more so as a child, my peers. I have always felt very much like an alien when it comes to the ways that I function and view the world. I am a loner by nature, and as I age, I tend to appreciate and respect that aspect of myself more and more.

I struggle with the challenges of being a “highly sensitive person,” which tends to come with substance abuse issues, depression, and anxiety, to name a few. I feel and absorb other people’s emotions and fail regularly to protect myself from them. I am constantly drained and overloaded by a combination of the emotions of others and my internal thoughts.

I expect for others to understand when I retreat and become reclusive, yet rarely they do. I have a bad habit of isolating myself during times of immense stress. It typically does not benefit me in many ways to do this, yet I always think that it will.

I procrastinate and often put off my “to’do list” or responsibilities due to feeling bogged down by mundane tasks. I am always searching for the bigger picture, and feel as though I need instant gratification without applying necessary steps and work.

INFJsssss….

INFJs live in a world of quiet introspection and imagination. They have an uncanny ability see through people, situations, and words to find hidden meanings, motives, and outcomes. They care very little about how something appears to be on the surface, but instead try to peer deeply into what something means, what its essence, or core truth is.

INFJs are known for their strong insights about people and situations. They get these insights through the use of their dominant cognitive function; Introverted Intuition. They also are extremely aware of people’s emotions and moods using their auxiliary function; Extraverted Feeling. This combination of skills means that an INFJ can easily pick up on even the slightest mood changes and inconsistencies in behavior and then intuitively grasp what may be bothering a person. They are constantly aware of other people’s body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions to pick up on hidden meanings, motives, or feelings. This can give them an aura of seeing “through” someone, and it helps them to deeply empathize with and understand others. It also makes them excellent counselors, therapists, and social workers.

An Anonymous Girl -Greer Hendricks & Sarah Pekkanen

“If the man you loved gave you a reason to doubt him, could you ever trust him?”

“We all have reasons for our judgements, even if those reasons are so deeply buried we don’t recognise them ourselves.”

“It is easy to judge other people’s choices. It is far more complex when the choices are your own”

“An sometimes the people who seem the most accomplished and together are the ones who can hurt you the deepest” 

It was one of the books in my kindle, I procrastinated to read. Least I expected to complete this book in a night, last night. *goosebumps*

The moment you start reading it, you have drawn yourself into the world of a doctor and a subject and if you have done a research study before, this even feels very closer to heart.

This book is about a psychological study on ethics and morals that turn into a game of a cat and mouse. Who is the cat and who is the mouse? The subject of the study or the psychologist doctor who narrates the game?

Remember: the rule of the story is to be open and honest and avoid pivoting away from any embarrassment or pain these questions provokes.

You’re Invited: Seeking women aged 18-32 to participate in a study on ethics and morality conducted by a preeminent NYC psychiatrist. Generous compensation. Anonymity guaranteed. Call for more details. – sounds impressive eh! After completing this book, I can’t help but feel extra careful the next time I consider signing up for a research study. You do not know who is using your information and what are they using for.

 

Already Rajini-fied Part 2(Spoiler’s Alert)

Kaiyil Kedachathu Tholanjaa
Innum Romba Puduchathu Kedaikkum
Aana Aasa Adakkida Therinja
Inga Ellaa Kaaladiyil Kedakkum

“You got to lose something in hand
To value and cherish what life throws back at you
You got to control the desire to possess
To get the world under your feet”

Woahhhh what a lyric!! This song actually makes me happy!

It’s unfortunate that I missed this song both the times I watched it in the cinema. However, this time I managed to watch this song in my third time and this time was to “reward” myself. I made my mum and sis watch too, and their reaction after that, I’ll share in a short while.

Well, this is a long overdue post, but what a coincidence!! It had been exactly 2 months since I watched it the first time and I can still remember how I felt that day at Cathay with my movie buddy! It was an impromptu and we managed to get the tickets!!!

I guess this is the “true Rajnism” … Some even said, “we got the old Rajini back”. I even came across an article about how Rajini replicates from his previous movies. Though I could not relate to these 80s movies, I was able to relate to his style and how it made me happy when I was a kid. I remembered how when I was a kid, I used to go around and imitating him saying “oru thadavai sonna, nooru thadavai sonna maathiri” or “en vazhi thani vazhi”..

*Petta Parak*, one can’t explain the level of happiness one can feel, and it is evident on the viewers’ face. It was not just the first show, fans who expressed such an intense level of happiness, but even people from young to old, and not a regular theatre-going showed a strong sense of enjoyment and satisfaction.

Though I watched Petta thrice, I thoroughly enjoyed it all the three times despite knowing the storyline, twists and turns. However, watching it in the cinema impact, was even better! Hmm… to be honest, it does not have a strong storyline. But the cinematography and the presence of all the artistes  ESPECIALLY RAJINI and his charm which made the movie a blockbuster. The scene in the canteen, the subtle romance with Simran are some of the scenes I can watch over and over again.

Watching a movie can be considered as a past time, hobby or a family/friends activity. There are different aspects an individual expect in a movie. Some watch it for narrative, while others watch it for entertainment. I am a person who is more towards the latter. I do not watch movies which makes me sad. I prefer movies which are more relaxing, exciting, thrilling or entertaining.

When we say ‘I love Petta’ or ‘I enjoy watching Petta’ (or any other film for that matter), what exactly happens within us is that we are carried from each level to another level subconsciously.

Upon finish watching the movie, mum was very upset for Vijay Sethupathi and kept on whining about it. Here’s a short description of my mum and the correlation between her and movies. She is a person who does not watch movies often. So I was rather surprised by her reaction towards this movie.

Though, at the end of the movie, especially when used to seeing Rajini as a “HERO” since young, his mind twist character did make me “feel cheated”. And the moment when he says “he wanted to tell a story……………..” All I felt was “Crap!!!!”

Another friend of mine also shared with me that she did not like Rajini playing such a role, especially with VS. (This friend came to watch it for VS with me). She instead gave an alternate suggestion for the ending.

“Rajini should have only revealed that VS is not his son to audience and not VS himself and instead made VS dance along with him in the “Raman aandalum” song!!”

petta

SHARING : Beautifully Said – Timely Reminders

When you open yourself up to people, when you lower your guard for a moment and decide to be vulnerable, when you gather the courage to say what you feel, you’ll inevitably get hurt.

Someone will betray your secrets. Someone will laugh at your vulnerabilities. Someone will light your heart on fire. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes not.

Your relationship with the Creator is different though. You can pour out every secret to Him and know you’ll never be betrayed. You can whisper your dreams up towards the sky, and you won’t hear incredulous laughter or someone saying, “that’s a silly dream.” You can raise your hands and say, “I am so sad” or furious or disappointed, and you won’t hear, “get over it already.”

Nothing but love and mercy and forgiveness comes from opening up to The Merciful. He is shy to leave asking hands empty. But we continuously seek comfort and sustenance and love elsewhere, and then become surprised when we are met with ridicule or hurt.

There are wonderful souls wandering this earth, opening their hearts to people like you and me. But even with them, even in their warmest embraces and kindest words, you will not find the comfort of open palms towards the sky, and an open heart towards Allah.

SHARING – Prostitutes, Wine & Sultan Murad

This is one of my favourite story from the Ottoman Empire. Please check it out 🙂

Sultan Murad, the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire would often anonymously go into the midst of the people and see their state. One evening, he felt an uneasiness in himself and the urge to go out. He called for his head of security and and out they went. They came to a busy vicinity,and found a man lying on the ground. The Sultan prodded him but he was dead and the people were going about their own business. Nobody seemed to care about the dead man lying on the ground.

The Sultan called upon the people. they didn’t recognize him and asked him what he wanted. He said, “Why is this man lying dead on the ground and why does no one seem to care?
Where is his family? “They replied, “He is so and so, the drunkard and fornicator!”

The Sultan said, “Is he not from the Ummah of Muhammad SAW? Now help me carry him to his house” The people carried the dead man with the Sultan to his house and once they reached, they all left. The Sultan and his assistant remained.
When the man’s wife saw his dead body, she began weeping. She said to his dead body, “Allah have mercy on you! O friend of Allah! I bear witness that you are from the pious ones.

“The Sultan was bewildered. He said, “How is he from the pious ones when the people say such and such things about him. So much so that no one even cared he was dead?”

She replied, “I was expecting that. My husband would go to the tavern every night and buy as much wine as he could. He would then bring it home and pour it all down the drain. He would then say, “I saved the Muslims a little today.” He would then go to a prostitute, give her some money to bring her to our house and recite Quran to the woman till the morning. And he would say, “Today I saved a young woman and the youth of the believers from vice.”

The people would see him buy wine and they would see him go to the prostitutes and they would consequently talk about him. One day I said to him, “When you die, there will be no one to bathe you, there will be no one to pray over you and there will be no one to bury you!”

He laughed and replied, “Don’t fear, the Sultan of the believers, along with the pious ones shall pray over my body. “The Sultan began crying. He said, “By Allah! He has said the truth, for I am Sultan Murad. Tomorrow we shall bathe him, pray over him and bury him.” And it so happened that the Sultan, the scholars, the pious people and the masses prayed over him.

We judge people by what we see and what we hear from others. Only if we were to see what was concealed in their hearts, a secret between them and their Allah.

“O you who believe, abstain from many of the suspicions. Some suspicions are sins. And do not be curious (to find out faults of others), and do not backbite one another. Does one of you like that he eats the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor it. And fear Allah. Surely Allah is Most-Relenting, Very-Merciful.” (Quran 49:12)

-Story of Ewliyah Nalıncı Mimi Dede from Istanbul

A tale of a 20 year old me :D

I came across this post in my old blog and thought I should share it here. Well to be honest, I am actually impressed with the “old me” …! *chuckles* … I was just 20- year- old wise granny then!

#11112010

#20YearOldMe
Hey Peepz,.. How’s everyone out there???!! Am back with a bang!! Well, there are too many things to note down, but I’m not sure where to start! #NowPlaying – Mannipaaya on repeated mode.
Hmmm,… while coming back home in MRT, came across a special, teenage student. I was standing against the glass railings, when she came towards my direction smiling weirdly at me. Well just like “Mr Naidu” from my Psychotherapy class, I started my observation on her.
So this girl was behaving inappropriately and she was doing unusual acts she was not supposed to do.. I felt a little unusual and uncomfortable and helpless at the same time. “Like am I supposed to stop her???” – this is where i got reminded of something I learned. – Bystander effect… But at that moment, suddenly it strike me about working with special needs children and helping them. It’s about time I need to do something hands on!
And yeah, so while sharing about the short incident in my previous para, I realised that I have something else to share about too. It’s about the camp I attended recently… Due to confidentiality, I can’t share specific details, however, I brought back some lessons.

Especially, during adolescence, support from family is very important. Having both parents working, these days kids think that there is no one to care or spend time with them, hence, it leads them to join the bad company. These days, kids start smoking at the age of, as early as 9 years old and all these happen because of peer pressure. In one of my case study, I learned, according to these kids, if supposed they do not comply with what their peers tell them to do, they are not accepted in their groups. This causes a lack in sense of belonging. belonging.

However, I strongly believe that this is the stage where the students should learn to make their own decisions. Well, aren’t they old enough to know what’s right or wrong? Or aren’t they supposed to defend themselves? Teens these days fail to realise that having one good friend is better than having bad friends. Hence, it’s about time parents should step in, and be supportive of them. But how can they be supportive when they don’t even know what is going on in their child’s life?

Parents should spend more time with their children no matter how busy their schedule is. They should also share things with each other and build confidence in their children. This way, it gives their children a sense of protection and a sense of belonging and need not feel the need to seek it from their peers.

I encountered another problem during the study I had. It seems that the most common problem between an adolescent and the parents is a communication breakdown. Firstly it’s the lack of communication between them, whereas the other one is a misunderstanding. A small scenario I came across. A girl feels that her mum does not want to spend time with her, and on the other end, the mum feels that the girl does not want to spend time with her. But both yearn to spend time with each other. Hence, there is a communication breakdown between the girl and her mum.

In my case study, I got a chance to have a conversation with both the parents and the student and this is what I conclude. I could feel the love, care and concern they have in each other but they failed to express it to each other. During the end of the camp, it was when I realised it, especially after seeing the children and parents hugging each other, asking forgiveness, so on and so forth. 

So, here are some personal yet usual suggestions from my side to build a rapport between the family members [doing it together as a FAMILY].

  • Having bedtime talks before sleeping about daily happenings
  • Having at least one meal together
  • Making it a point whereby, every weekend to do some activities (shopping, sports….)
  • Going to the library together

I know, these are easier said than done but at this current situation, everyone is getting busy each day because of their career. Even studies are getting tougher. But I strongly encourage that some time should be spared for the family… 🙂
Now that I know the importance of a family, in future, I know what to do if I have a family on my own… 🙂
Unpleasant things can be avoided if efforts are taken. So please people, spare some time with FAMILY.
Haizzzz I was just looking through my timetable. My deadlines for assignments and case study are due in the first week of Dec. My exam break is during the second week while my exams fall during the third week. So which means my 21st birthday falls during my exam period
😦
However, I have decided what case study I am going to work on… And getting some notes on that. After which I have to work on the whole report followed by my “neuro” assignment… The question itself makes me want to break down. Keke… Well, that’s all for now. I think this post is long enough… will catch up soon friends. [i hope]
Lolzz…
One and Only Naz ;)xoxo

Get Rajini-fied – Part 1

Initially it made me wonder, why rajini-fied?? Isn’t it a-bit too over exaggerated? And then there came the GIFs, the memes and IG. My IG was flooded with them! Every single story had “rajini-fied” … Okay maybe I am exaggerating but majority of his fans are in my IG! So DUhhhhhhh

In fact, after watching the trailer, I very much wanted to watch the movie myself. Well like all the 80s-90s kids, me too grew up watching Rajini movies. I remember watching Thalapathy when I was really young with my favourite late aunt and my mum. I guess I was only about 3 or 4 years old? Since I grew up in my grandma’s house for a while, I used to watch “Mannan” like a zillion times, that was because, it was her favourite movie. Besides Mannan, I watched Muthu, Arunachalam, etc in my grandma’s place. Another Rajini’s movie I watched several times, over 300-400 times was Padayappa. I remember, back then, it was recorded in the video cassette, I watched it almost everyday, over a year that I could remember every single dialogues in that movie. Me, not being a comedy fan, by far, that was the best comedy by him! However, that same year, I became Vijay’s fan after watching “Ninaithaen Vanthaay” and ever since he’s my favourite. I lose interest in watching Rajini’s movie after Lingaa though.

To be continued…..

Thalapathy or Thalavali – Chronicles of “Port Dickson”

Me : heyy I was the Thalapathy la (a leader)

My friend’s husband : You sure you are the Thalapathy and not Thalavali (headache)?? #facepalm

It all started with a random conversation during a wedding.

Looking back at the trip. Our travelling time seemed longer than the time we stayed there BUT it was one of the best trip I had in 2018.

So here’s how I became Thalapathy. I was the organiser for the trip. Which means, it started off with sorting out the dates till liaising with the driver. The communication with the driver was rather challenging. Well, obviously he was from my neighbourhood country, I had problems communicating with him in English. Worst still, I wasn’t that proficient in Malay too. I hated it when he me “sir” a couple of times! #facepalm. Apparently they started calling me “Thalapathy” when I was asleep in the car. And when I asked them why, they told me that my effort in communicating with the driver was commendable especially with my “broken Malay” ! Seriously girls ???

This trip was a fun filled trip with some relaxation as well as musical.